Victims of International Child Abduction.

Long time ago, I have realized that there are thousands of parents who are in the same boat....mothers and fathers whose children have been taken away from them by the other parent. Some of them have given up and some of them are waging legal battles in foreign jurisdictions with mixed results. A website started in support of one such parent, David Goldman of NJ, has gained traction and attacts tons of visitors. Forums section on the site has stories of other LBPs (Left Behind Parents). An acronym that I absolutely hate and detest....but unfortunately an appropriate one.

God knows when nations will get together and do something concrete to prevent this from happening again. All the treaties and conventions they have come up with so far have proved of little or no value to the children involved and the parents left behind. It is tragic that nations can not work together on something as simple as protecting children of the world. No wonder world peace still remains a mere pipe dream.

How long can we go on?

The past 2 months have been frustrating. "Due Process" does that to people. While it is very easy for one to break the law with impunity and attain their objective, the 'System' tries it's best to discourage the one who wants to abide by the law, obey Court orders and do things the right way. At times, it makes you wonder if being law abiding is really as rewarding as advertised.

Not a moment goes by when I don't wonder where my son may be, how tall he had become, how talkative he may be and what he may be doing right at that moment. I and my son had endured this forced separation for more than 14 months now. Hope god will give us strength to keep going until we are together again.

Anniversary

July 16, 2009 - It is exactly one year ago that I last saw my son. He was with me from 4 PM - 8 PM. I went to the same park today that I visited with him last year. I walked the same trails. I threw pebbles into the lake like he used to. I sat on the same rock we used to sit on on our way out of the park.

I really can't explain why I visited the park today. But then there are a lot of things that can't be explained either. Why is it so difficult and painful to do things the right way? Why should people, that are supposedly on the run and can't be located, be given due notice so they can respond to the unfinished formalities? Why should my son and I suffer due to this so-called 'due process'?

Fortunately, he is too young to realize the significance of today. I hope he is happy and healthy wherever he is.

Another Special Day goes by

Yesterday was Father's Day and it was as shallow as every other special day has been since I have last seen my son on July 16, 2008....Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, New Year, Spring break, Winter break, Summer break, my Birthday, his Birthday and all the important Hindu festivals (Dasara, Diwali, Sankranthi, Ugadi, Ram Navami etal.).

He is FOUR!!

My son turned 4 years old today. Wonder if he was given the B'day card I mailed him.

I had him with me on his 3rd Birthday from 9AM-7PM (picture above was taken on his 3rd B'day), a month and a half before he was taken to India. It was special too because my sister (his aunt) was visiting us at the time. Before picking him up, I had to pick up, from a family owned bakery, special order Carrot Cake. Absolutely no nuts and it had to be the first Cake prepared on cleaned equipment so residue of nuts would not get into his. I hope he has outgrown some of his food allergies by now.

I remember picking him up from his Daycare where he and his mother went in the morning to treat his friends to cake and goodie bags. He was in a great mood and couldn't wait to go to my place to cut the second Birthday Cake. Once home, I changed him into the new Old Navy shorts, tee and shirt that I bought for him. I bought a new set of sandals for him which he absolutely did not want to wear. He loved his new dress, loved the balloons I had put up on the walls, Happy B'day poster I had at home, cut the Cake, let me and his aunt feed him some and fed us both some. Then he started playing with his balloons and started running around the apartment (all that sugar had got to him). I and my sis had to work real hard to get a couple of his pictures and capture him on the handicam. I have the mini DV with me. I will see if I can get myself to watch it later in the day.

Unlike his 2nd and 3rd B'days, he will not get to cut two Cakes today. Nor would he have two sets of new outfits. Most importantly he would not get a chance to spend time with both his parents. Does a 4 year old deserve this? Whose sins is he paying the price for? Who will give him a break? And When? It is 1 AM now and I have all of tomorrow to ponder over these questions.

My gut tells me that he is having a wonderful B'day. Happy Birthday Gunnu!

Upcoming B'day

The lovable 'brat' is going to be 4 on June 5. I had bought a B'day card for him and mailed it to the Indian address where he is, most probably, staying with his mother. Neither I nor the US State Department could locate my son in India in the ten months since his being taken out of the US.

As I think about his upcoming B'day, I could not help coming to the sad realization that I had already missed out on 25% of his young life (ten and a half month now and a month back in 2006) due to him being forcefully taken/kept away from me. I keep wondering if I have been completely wiped off his memory. My friends and well wishers keep reassuring me that he will remember me and recongnize me instantly when he sees me next. I sure hope they are right.

When will I see him next? Now that is a million dollar question. I am doing everything in my power to make it happen as soon as I can. But there are still hurdles to cleared. In the meantime, as always, I hope he is in sound health and good spirits.

What might he be doing right now?

It is currently 7:20 AM in India. I was wondering what my little boy might be doing. Is he awake already? If not, he must be getting ready to....tossing, turning, checking for his mother by his side (we co-sleep with him), getting closer to her if she is there or getting off the bed and walking out of the room looking for her if she is not by his side. He needs a big hug from one of us as soon as he wakes up and needs to be told how much we love him. Then slowly, he will get ready for breakfast. Wonder which character's toothbrush he is using right now! At my place here in US, he had an Elmo toothbrush. And then breakfast. I am guessing that by now, he is probably eating by himself without needing his mother to feed him.

God knows how many new words he must have learnt in the last 10 months. I wish he learnt as many new English words as he did Telugu ones. Obviously, we want him to learn both the languages. Given that he is most probably in Hyderabad, I wonder if he started picking up a bit of Hindi. How else can I teach him all those famous dialogues of Big B, Amjad Khan, Shotgun Sinha, Amrish Puri and of course, Ajit? Still not sure where he and his mother are.

Boy, I can't go any further....I will stop right here.

Light finally??

Going through tough and trying times is not most difficult thing one can face. Persevering through those times is what defines one's character. Looks like I might have turned the hard bend where I can faintly see light at the other end of the tunnel. I am hoping there are no more setbacks on the way. Should there be some more, I wish I and my son can survive them like we have been for the past 10 months.

Oh 'The one above', please make sure my adorable 'brat' is happy, healthy and strong!!

When it rains....

it really pours. Just when you think you have your hands full with troubles to be dealt with, more trouble comes your way. Does something good really come out of every hard knock in life? I sure hope so. As much for the sake of my boy as for my own. Loss of hope never does anyone any good, does it!!

29 weeks and counting

It is exactly 29 weeks since I have had any contact with my only child. As time passes and nothing positive emerges, measuring the time of separation from my son in weeks is a bit less painful than measuring it in days (203).

Dear God, please ensure my little boy is healthy and happy. While you are at it, please give me enough strength to endure this ordeal. For my end of the bargain, I promise not to give up hope nor suspend my efforts to be reunited with him.

Personal milestone

Today, I turned 40. This, without a doubt, has turned out to be the saddest Birthday I ever had. My son, the most valuable asset that I have, is not here to celebrate it with me. I still do not know where he is or when he and I will be reunited. But fight I must and I will. I owe it to my beloved boy.

The New Year

Yes, the New Year is upon us. I am optimistic that it will bring good luck and reunite my son and me.

No stone is being left unturned in my efforts to be reunited with my son. But the so called 'due process' has it's own pace and whether we like it or not, my son and I have to abide by it. Frustrating.....yes. Hopelessness......no. Give up......never.

I hope my son had a great New Year and a very happy Sankranthi. I pray for his good health and happiness.